Equilibrium
by Inu no Kami
Summary: All it takes is one mistake, only one mistake, for the world to come crashing down ontop of you. In his heat, Sesshomaru seduces Inuyasha, not at all thinking of the consequences. Now his world is tumbling down, and he's doing everything he can to stop it. Readers beware, for this contains yaoi, mpreg, incest, self-harm, and severe OOCness.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings:** mpreg, yaoi, incest, self-harm, OOCness. If any of these bother you, turn back _now_.

I know that InuSess stories aren't generally welcomed into the fandom with open arms, but I like them. I hope you do too, otherwise you shouldn't have clicked on this piece.

 **Complements/Criticisms** are welcome here.  
 **Flames** are not.  
Any and all flames will simply be ignored, you having wasted your precious time typing them up.  
You'll never get those three seconds back, you know.

* * *

His heat was coming. Sesshomaru couldn't stand it, but he could feel his inner youkai taking over, wanting him to be mated. He already differed in physical appearance - he was skinnier, and therefore weaker, and his markings were brighter, not to mention that his scent had changed to mimic a female's. Inside, he felt almost nothing but lust. Nothing but the overwhelming desire to mate and bare a pup.

Not wanting Jaken nor Rin to see him in such a state, he had long since abandoned his traveling party near a mountain in the north. For now, he was practically on the run, trying to avoid any and all male demons and keep to himself. It had worked so far, seeing as he was currently unmated and therefore, not pregnant. But he hated feeling weary; hated feeling weak.

It was all because he had been born a male bitch. Inwardly, he cursed his Hahaue and Chichiue. They had conceived him improperly; something had gone wrong before he was born, and now he was like this. There were others, of course. But male bitches and dominant females were rare, and usually killed at birth. When Sesshomaru had been born, his parents had worked hard on hiding his little secret. In fact, he hadn't even known of his little 'glitch' until his first heat cycle, when all the male servants of the castle chased after him, and he desired them to take him, dominate him. Because of this, his parents had to keep him chained to a wall in the highest castle turret to prevent him from being mated.

"Damn... Damn them all..." Sesshomaru muttered to himself as he trudged through the forest. There were no scents on the tress or shrubs, so he figured that this was safe ground. He sat down against a tree, and leaned on it exhaustedly. He could perhaps rest for tonight. It didn't smell as though many males had passed through this way in a while, so there were no nearby ones that could come and claim him.

His eyes, a far more luminescent gold than usual, fluttered shut as he decided to rest for a while. He had been running for days.

* * *

"Inuyasha, are you alright?!" Kagome yelped as she ran over to the hanyou, who was hunched over, clutching his chest tightly.

The gang had just been attacked, which was nothing out of the ordinary, save for Inuyasha's near-defeat. It wasn't anything special. It wasn't Naraku, or even one of his incarnations. It had been just a plain old demon, trying to protect the territory that it deemed as it's. It was winged, and fast - Inuyasha's Wind Scar hadn't worked, and the demon was able to give a rather large blow to his stomach. The hanyou insisted that the wound wasn't that bad, but it was the mentality that got to him. He had been successfully attacked by such a simple, weak demon. A demon that, in the end, was simply taken out by Shippou's Fox Fire.

"Damnation!" He screeched, holding his chest. Kagome, Sango, and Miroku ran up to the hanyou, and the priest carried Inuyasha on his back as they returned to Kaede's village.

"It's only a flesh wound. You'll be fine." The old priestess had said, but that wasn't what had gotten to Inuyasha. He had _lost_. Well, almost lost, but _still_. Shippou could defeat the demon that he couldn't. Feeling worthless, he drowned his sorrows and pain in sake, avoiding contact with the rest of the group. This was _stupid_. Why, _why_ had he been so weak when fighting such a worthless demon? Was he in a weaker state than usual, perhaps? He certainly didn't feel sick. But he was going nearly crazy as he listened to the other whispering softly behind his back. In a drunken, shameful state of mind, he wandered away from the village and into the forest.

"Gosh. Poor guy. He's taking this pretty hard." Sango stated simply, as she, Miroku, and Kagome watched the drunken half-breed wabble through the trees.

"It's just a stupid demon. He shouldn't be so hard on himself." Shippou said matter-of-factly.

"Come now Shippou, give the poor guy a brack. He may be Inuyasha, but he's bound to have a few slip-ups every now and then. Let's just leave him be for the time being." Miroku told the fox demon, and they walked back inside Kaede's hut.

Inuyasha eventually arrived at a small, shallow stream, and sat down beside it, sake bottle in hand. He took another swig, and grumbled. As he sniffed the air, he realized that something nearby smelled really sweet. A female by the smell of it, not that he cared. Frustrated, he took another swig of sake and starred gloomily into the stream.

* * *

Sesshomaru could smell it. It was his brother's scent, and it was extremely close by. Inwardly, his bitch of a yokai saw the hanyou as a potential mate, and it took every ounce of willpower to not let his hormones control him and go and offer himself to the hanyou. He also caught the strong, tangy scent of alcohol, and lots of it. It came from the same direction as Inuyasha. Standing up, he convinced himself that it was only curiosity that made him wish to go and see his brother.

Eventually he arrived at a shallow stream, and on the other side of it, was Inuyasha, sulking. In his hand he held a nearly empty bottle of sake. He was starring dejectedly into the stream, and he reeked of self-pity and sorrow. Inside of Sesshomaru, his yokai nearly exploded with want and the need to submit. He tried to resist, he really did. But it seemed as though his feet were moving on their own, walking across the stream and towards Inuyasha.

"...Inuyasha..." He spoke, a little too breathily. "Is something troubling you?"

The hanyou shrugged, and swung his sake forth, sloshing it's contents into the stream. His eyes were dark and defeated, and his cheeks were flushed red with alcohol. Sesshomaru couldn't resist. If Inuyasha had ingested as much sake as he thought he did, the hanyou could screw him and relive him of the hot, hot magma sensation that was swimming in his chest.

He knelt down in front of Inuyasha and began to roll that Robe of the Fire Rat off of his shoulders. Inuyasha did nothing to resist, and Sesshomaru smirked. He grabbed his brother's chin lightly, and pushed his head up do Inuyasha's face met his. His glowing gold eyes were filled with bittersweet feminine innocence, and his mouth was closed into a small, cute 'o'.

"I can make it better..." He whispered seductively.

And that was enough for Inuyasha. He leaned forward, taking Sesshomaru's lips in his, and shoving his tongue down his throat. His hands peeled Sesshomaru's kimono off of him hungrily, and in his drunken state of mind, pushed the older demon down onto his back, and slid his hands into his pants. Sesshomaru gladly spread his legs.

* * *

The next morning, he ran. In a strange state of mind that was foreign to him, he ran away from the stream, fixing his slightly wet kimono and carrying his shoes. His magenta eyeshadow was smeared all over his face, and his long hair was askew and wet as well. He felt weak and sick to his stomach, not to mention the odd fear that was creeping up in his chest. Somewhere behind him was Inuyasha, running as fast as he could with a furious look in his eyes.

The hanyou was shirtless with messy, wet hair to match his, and pants askew. He was chasing Sesshomaru, eyes a furious red, a hateful glare in the amber orbs. As they ran, Inuyasha was screaming at Sesshomaru. "Do you have _any_ idea what just happened back there?!" He shrieked.

Sesshomaru squeezed his eyes shut tightly. The question was rhetorical; Inuyasha knew all too well what happened back at the stream. It was why he was chasing Sesshomaru in the first place. Holding his breath and trying to apply his impassive mask, failing miserably, Sesshomaru didn't respond.

" _I just cheated on the woman I love!_ " He screamed. " _You hear me?! I LOVE HER!_ "

Sesshomaru's hand flew to the mating mark that had been placed on his neck as it pulsed painfully. Inuyasha had marked him, he had mated him, but Sesshomaru hadn't returned the favor. The mating was incomplete. And now Sesshomaru was suffering for it, for now he would feel pain every time Inuyasha was with Kagome. The woman he loved.

Inwardly, he cursed himself. It was his inner bitch that made this happen. He hadn't wanted it. And now he was mated to Inuyasha. It was all because he was a male bitch. Memories of the previous night flashed through his mind; Inuyasha taking him, biting his neck, and uttering ' _mine_ ' into his elegantly pointed ear. Inuyasha had told him that he wanted him, and he gladly accepted the idea. He should've known that Inuyasha was only under the influence of sake and his own seductive spell. He should've known that mating his brother would bring only hell.

It was when Inuyasha unsheathed Tessaiga that another wave of fear pulsed through him, and he ignored the painful ache that coursed all throughout his body and took off in flight.

"Damn you!" Inuyasha screeched after him, left behind on the ground. "I'll kill you, you worthless slut!"

Sesshomaru didn't take any of Inuyasha's words to heart, but as he flew, he couldn't help but listen to that last claim over and over on an endless loop in his mind. Was he really a slut? He didn't sleep around, so wasn't a whore, but he _did_ sleep with someone whom he didn't love...

 _'I'll kill you, you worthless slut!'_

Shaking his head, Sesshomaru continued to fly, not letting it get to him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Inuyasha! Where were you last night?! We were all worried sick!" Kagome hollered at the hanyou, who trudged into Kaede's hut in the wee hours of the morning.

Inuyasha's head ached with hangover, and as Kagome threw herself at him, embracing him in a hug, he felt nothing short of shame. Shame for what had happened in a nearby stream the previous night. Shame for _who it happened with_. Inside he felt dirty and slutty, and every inch of him ached with regret. He had _slept_ with... with _him_! He had cheated on Kagome, the woman he loved, with _Sesshomaru_! Why did Lord Stick-Up-His-Ass want to get screwed anyway?! Remembering the whole ordeal made him sick. _Good for nothing slut,_ he thought, cursing Sesshomaru for seducing him in his weakened state. In his mind, he vowed that someday, _someday_ , no matter what it took, he'd find Sesshomaru and cut him up into a thousand tiny, slutty pieces.

"Damn, Kagome... Not so loud..." He groaned, holding his head. "I was just... sleeping, where you all wouldn't bother me." He lied through his teeth. There was no way in _hell_ that he'd even _think_ about telling Kagome what happened. He'd carry that secret to his grave.

"Oh... Well, are you okay? You look kinda... sick." Kagome told him.

"Yeah, I'm hungover! Damn, I'm never drinking that much sake again, _ever_!"

Inuyasha trudged over to where the futons were spread out neatly, and collapsed onto one, face-first. Inwardly, he shook his head, trying to rid his brain of the images of Se-slut-maru that continued to play over and over in his mind on an endless loop. Again, shame bubbled up in his chest. He felt like a whore. He had only ever slept with one other person, being Kikyou, because the two of them had really loved each other. He didn't sleep around, and especially not with _guys_! Then again, what with Sesshomaru's feminine features and Inuyasha's drunken vision the previous night, he was almost positive he had mistaken his brother for a female. A very pretty, sexy female at that.

But that was beside the point!

As Inuyasha continued to beat himself up over his regrets, Miroku, Sango, Kagome and Shippou decided to leave him be in Kaede's hut and go talk outside. Miroku glanced over at Inuyasha as they left the simple structure. There was something familiar about the way that he was acting. It reminded Miroku of the times he himself would get drunken stupid, and go and sleep with some ugly, clingy woman, and he'd end up regretting it in the morning. Inuyasha _had_ been _very_ drunk the other day, but it wasn't any of Miroku's business if he slept with someone. If he had, it was probably just some village girl whom the would never see again for the rest of their lives.

"Inuyasha smells funny." Shippou suddenly blurted out, bringing the priest's attention back to the group.

"How so?" Sango queried. The whole group looked at the little kitsune strangely.

"Well, when I smell him, he's got Kagome's scent on him, and the rest of our scents on him, and then... there's something else. Somethin' real sweet." Shippou scrunched up his nose for emphasis.

Miroku chuckled lightly. From the sounds of it, his suspicions were confirmed. I his drunken state of mind, Inuyasha had probably gone out and screwed some woman, then abandoned her the next morning. He then realized that this made Inuyasha a cheater, having slept with someone _other_ than Kagome _or_ Kikyou, and he decided to keep his little assumption to himself. No need to get the poor hanyou in deeper water than he already was.

"It's probably just all the sake he drank last night." The priest told the others, chuckling to himself.

* * *

Sesshomaru was sick in every sense of the word. His stomach felt strange, not to mention the memories of the previous night were simply grossing him out. He had acted worse than a well-paid whore, practically begging to be screwed. He was so desperate to sleep with someone that he did so with his own _brother_. And the way that his heart raced when Inuyasha had placed his mating mark on him, and whispered sweet nothings into his ear... simply _remembering_ what had happened back there made him sick.

He remembered being chased the next morning, with it being so early in the day that the stars were still out. He, the mighty Lord Sesshomaru, had run away like a cowardly female. Like the bitch he was. He had felt a strange fear and regret, oh so much regret, as he ran away from his positively murderous brother. The way he had acted back there made him _sick_.

He didn't even get the benefit of feeling post-heat relief. Now, because Inuyasha had marked him, his inner bitch felt the overwhelming desire to get screwed yet _again_ by that worthless hanyou. But Sesshomaru had had enough. He would be damned if he let himself act like that again, longing and begging for Inuyasha's rough touch. The night was over, and now he would make his way back to Jaken, Rin, and Ah-Un, who were no doubt still waiting where he had left him, Jaken probably loosing his head with worry.

He would resume his hunt for Naraku, and would continue on being the fearless, almighty Lord of the West. One stupid, slutty mistake wasn't going to change all that. In the very back of his head, something told him that this wasn't true, but he didn't open that door. He was Lord Sesshomaru. He had gone through hell and back, he had replaced a missing arm, he brought people back to life. This was nothing, to him. Of course, he knew now that now Inuyasha held this over him, but Sesshomaru could hardly believe that the hanyou would risk his relationship with Kagome for some blackmail.

But Sesshomaru couldn't ignore the gnawing feeling in his stomach, no matter how hard he tried. _Just you watch_ , a little voice said inside him. _All hell's gonna break loose_.

The tiny possibility that sleeping with Inuyasha had impregnated him also passed through his brain, but he shook it out of his head. Impossible. In a male bitch, or a female alpha, they'd have to mate with a demon with an immensely strong demonic aura and then their bodies would begin to change. But Inuyasha was a mere half-breed. There was no way that _his_ demonic aura would activate Sesshomaru's, er... 'additional parts', shall we say. A simply half-breed could not impregnate the mighty Lord of the West.

Sighing in uncharacteristic exhaustion, the inuyokai continued his trek back to the mountain at which he'd left Rin and Jaken to fend for themselves.

* * *

"Wind Scar!" Inuyasha howled, swinging his Tessaiga forth. A mighty blast then came from the massive sword, tearing the enormous demon the group had been fighting to shreds.

Smirking to himself, the hanyou placed the sword casually over his shoulder, admiring his work. So far, the day had gone rather normally. The group left Kaede's village around noon, and marched onward in fearless search of Naraku. Inuyasha's memories of the previous night were so faded that he had started to wonder if it had never happened in the first place, and the whole ordeal was just some terrible nightmare.

"Hey, Inuyasha! C'mere! Let's set up camp for tonight." Kagome called from where she had sat down, taking her enormous yellow bookbag off of her shoulders and placing it in front of her.

"What?! But we've only been walking for a little while now!" The hanyou protested.

Kagome rolled her eyes, and took something out of her bag. "I have ramen~!" She said in a sing-song voice, and was glad when Inuyasha capitulated.

The rest of the group then gathered 'round the fire Kagome had set up as the evening sun sank below the horizon. The evening went by casually and normally, what with Inuyasha stealing Shippou's food, the hanyou then getting Sat six feet under, Miroku groping Sango's wonderfully bubbly ass and getting a whooping for doing so. Yes, it seemed that, by this point in the day, all was right in the world.

And then the sun went down.

"Inuyasha. Lookit, the stars are so beautiful tonight." Kagome gushed, catching Inuyasha's curious attention. The young miko was starring into the sky with a glazed look in her eyes. She looked dazzling right now, with the starlight shining down on her ebony curls. Her chocolate eyes glistened innocently, and her creamy skin almost glowed beneath the full moon's flattering light.

Blushing a little, Inuyasha simply shrugged off her words. "What's so great about the stars? They're always up there."

Kagome sighed melodically, and looked down at the grass. "Yeah, but in my time, you can't really see the stars. There's too many lights..." Inuyasha got up and sat down next to Kagome, then tilting his head upwards, mimicking her.

He squinted hard up at the sky, but he didn't see anything beautiful. "I still don't get what you're talking about." Suddenly, he felt a unfamiliar weight on his shoulder, and noticed that Kagome was leaning on him. Her dark eyes glittered with starlight, and suddenly he saw the beauty she did. "...Kagome..." He said her name sweetly, and she looked up at him dreamily.

"...Inuyasha..." She said sweetly. She suddenly tilted her head upwards, and their lips met in a kiss. Kagome's tongue danced in Inuyasha's mouth delicately, and his hands went to the back of her head.

Kagome's lips were so soft on his. They were like silk. And in his hands were a fistful of those raven curls he loved so much. It was perfect. He was with Kagome, the woman he loved so much. The miko pressed her hands against his chest and pulled back ever so slightly, that he could feel her hot breath against his face. "...Inuyasha..." She said breathily. But wait... he remembered another voice saying his name very similarly the previous night. He remembered silky silver strands splayed out beneath him in an ivory halo, and stripping a white kimono off of creamy, pale skin...

"Dammit!" Inuyasha suddenly spat, pulling away from Kagome harshly. The former high school girl's eyes widened to the size of saucers as she watched Inuyasha wretch.

"...Inuyasha? What's wrong?" Pulling herself back to reality, she walked over to him and pat him on the back.

"No!" He spat harshly. "I'm not okay! I-!"

Kagome looked at him with concern in her dark eyes, ebony curls falling messily in her face. "You what?"

"I cheated, Kagome!" He felt sick to his stomach. Here he was, finally alone with Kagome, the woman he _loved_ , dammit, and all he could think about was his escapade with Sesshomaru! He had to tell her, to break her heart, and then that would break his. He deserved for his heart to be broken. He deserved all hell that would come his way. Because, like a slut, he cheated. He slept with another slut. He had fallen for Sesshomaru's whorish spell, and now was paying for it.

One thing was clear, though. He didn't know when, or where, or even how, but he would find a way to make Sesshomaru pay. He would find a way to kill him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you** to those who faved, followed, and reviewed. Much appreciated.  
 **My apologies** for the short chapter. But I typed this when I was supposed to be sleeping, so cut me some slack.

* * *

"Milord, if I may ask, why are you acting so strange?"

"Hush, you stupid little human wench! You should know by now not to ask our almighty Lord such rude questions!"

"But I don't think it's rude, I-"

Sesshomaru huffed. "Rin. Jaken." He spoke icily. It was enough to get them to shut up, at least for a little while. He wondered about what Rin had asked. Was he really acting strange? He supposed he felt strange. Ever since that night with Inuyasha, and let's not forget the morning after, in which he ran off with his tail between his legs like the little bitch he was. A terribly slutty bitch, really. But that aside, he was almost certain that something _had_ to be wrong with him. He was sick in the mornings, though he hadn't the will to throw up, and he felt as if his body were flooding over with emotions. His body also ached, all the time, and let's not forget...

...he longed for Inuyasha.

What he never wanted to admit was that deep down, something had snapped within him. The morning in which he had run away from Inuyasha like a cowardly female, something inside him had shattered. If he hadn't known better, he'd think it his heart breaking, but he did know better. Sesshomaru had no heart. He had once, but it was crushed into one thousand and one pieces the day he learned that his parents no longer loved each other. And that day was several centuries ago.

While his mind swam in thought, Sesshomaru suddenly keeled over with the urge to not-so-gracefully spew out his breakfast. Trying to keep his gurgling stomach and reputation in check, he sat down as gracefully as he could and signaled for the rest of his traveling party to sit down as well. Rin rejoiced at being able to take a break from their journey after Naraku, and Jaken believed that it was high-time for a rest as well.

The little kappa placed Ah-Un's reigns lightly on the ground, then turned to get a quick glance at his lord. As much as he couldn't stand Rin, he couldn't deny that she was right. Their lord had been acting quite odd since he returned to meet them at the mountain, and, though Jaken was almost sure he had been hallucinating, he could've sworn he'd smelt the musky scent of sex on his lord when he had returned. The little kappa sniffed the air again. His sense of smell was nothing like his lord's, or even his half-brother's, but he was still a demon. And he recognized the very warm, very milky scent that wafted off of his lord in waves.

And Jaken didn't like what he was smelling one bit.

Cautiously he crept towards the resting inuyokai, who could've passed for asleep had Jaken not known better. The white-haired lord was leaning against a tree with his eyes shut, his chest heaving a little with breath. Jaken tried to calm his nerves a little bit before speaking, and then asked as kindly and respectfully as he could with every last ounce of courage inside of him, "Milord? I don't mean to bother you, but, is everything..." *gulp* "... _alright_?"

Jaken almost jumped out of his skin when he saw golden irises open. However, Sesshomaru's glare didn't seem nearly as icy as usual. The lord spoke dryly, and Jaken dare say, almost curiously. "Why do you ask such, Jaken?"

See, that was it, right there! That strange behavior! Normally, their lord would never acknowledge any questions asked of him, and here he was now, responding to little old Jaken! The little kappa swallowed nervously once more before continuing. "Well, you _have_ been acting... _different_ , and your scent's changed..."

This was news to Sesshomaru. His scent had changed? And enough so that even his retainer, who's sense of smell was much poorer than his, could notice? "And just what do I smell like to you, Jaken?" He almost hissed. Something was bubbling in his stomach. A little feeling that he just couldn't ignore.

"Y-Your scent is like that of a pregnant bitch, m-milord." His retainer stuttered.

Sesshomaru felt bile rise in the back of his throat, and a tiny voice in the pit of his stomach said, _I told you so_.

* * *

"You _what_?!"

Kagome's shrill voice rang out obnoxiously through the clearing. Her veins pulsed with anger and her heart throbbed with jealously. She couldn't believe what he had told her. She didn't want to. She simply couldn't wrap her brain around the idea that Inuyasha, that _her_ Inuyasha, had _fucked Sesshomaru_. Her mind told her that it was just impossible. It just wouldn't happen.

So _why_ was she standing there, listening to Inuyasha as he spoke of things that _just wouldn't happen_?!

"I'm _sorry_ , Kagome! I was drunk, and, and he... he had some kinda spell on me! He even changed his scent!" Inuyasha screamed back at her, trying to redeem himself. He felt downright terrible. He didn't want to believe it either. But he, for some unfathomable reason, couldn't seem to rid his brain of the images of that face, those _damn_ honey golden eyes and baby pink lips as he begged the hanyou for 'more, more!'.

"Arrrggh! Why was he even here in the first place?!" Kagome shrieked, long, slender fingers digging into her scalp. She was pulling her own ebony curls out. She wasn't quite sure who she was mad at. Was she mad at Inuyasha, for falling prey to Sesshomaru's spell and sleeping with him, or was she mad at the slut himself, for going to Inuyasha in the first place? With another scream of frustration, she actually yanked out a tuft of raven locks, wishing for this to make sense.

Why did Sesshomaru want to seduce Inuyasha in the first place? She thought that the two hated each other! The idea that Sesshomaru was _lusting after_ Inuyasha was just... unrealistic. By now, more curious and flustered than angry, Kagome collapsed on her knees and asked, "What really happened?" In the calmest voice she had.

Inuyasha, who was also pulling out his own hair, from the looks of it, sat down next to her and seemed to think for a minute. "Well..." He spoke. "I was drunk, so I don't remember all that good, but I do remember that I was angry at myself. Then, Sesshomaru came, but I don't think I realized that it was him. He'd changed his scent, and he looked like a female. So he asked me something like, 'What's wrong?' and then he was all like, 'I can make it better.' and then I-!" Inuyasha's cheeks suddenly turned an atrocious red, and, had the situation not been what it was, Kagome would've laughed.

"I see..." Kagome hummed to herself. From the sounds of it, it was all _Sesshomaru's_ fault, not Inuyasha's. "So why do you think he wanted to get screwed anyway?"

If it were possible, it seemed that Inuyasha's blush brightened, and he stood up with a huff. "I donno!" He shouted. "But the next time I see that bastard again, I'm going to kick his ass 'till he's six feet under!" And with that, Inuyasha stormed off, leaving behind a semi-confused Kagome.

She still wanted to know why Sesshomaru felt the next to sleep with someone in the first place. And with Inuyasha, no less! A small part of her hoped that they would see him again soon, and then Kagome, being the gusty heroine she is, could ask just what the hell he thinks he'd doing. Now that you mention it, what would happen the next time the meet up with Sesshomaru? There's no way that he'd fight Inuyasha is he was lusting after him, is there?

There more Kagome thought about the two of them being _'together'_ , the more a tiny feeling in the pit of her stomach bubbled up. As much as she didn't want to admit it, that tiny piece of her felt threatened. Inuyasha was _hers_ , and if _Sesshomaru_ of all people wanted him... She had no clue what she'd do. Kikyou was different. Since he had met Kagome, the most Inuyasha seemed to do with the priestess was talk (well, there was that one kiss, but that's rather irrelevant, now). But he had _screwed_ Sesshomaru. As in no clothes, as in touching each other, as in body to body-!

Kagome shook her head furiously. Her cheeks were getting far to warm. Come now, Kagome, there's no need to think about them like that, no need to _imagine_ it. There was no way in Heaven or Hell that Inuyasha could _love_ Sesshomaru. It was probably like some from of booty-call for him. Standing up triumphantly, Kagome smiled. There was no need to worry. Yes, a booty-call, that's all it was. And Inuyasha was just like any other young man, despite his demonic side, who might need a booty-call every now and then.

Smiling, Kagome decided that she would let this slide. After all, it was _one night_. In a week, she'd forget all about it. It didn't matter at all, because Inuyasha loved _her_.


	4. Chapter 4

**Seppuku** is the Japanese ritual suicide performed with a sword, as an honorable alternative to disgrace/dishonor.  
 **Kamikaze** is a self-destructive attack in battle.

 **Warning:** This chapter contains self-harm and talk of suicide, so turn away if that bothers you.

* * *

Slowly and deliberately he traced a tin line across his wrist with his claw. Not enough to cut deep, but enough to draw a thin line of dripping blood. He would, of course, need something far more powerful than his own claws in order to do what he desired. He would commit Seppuku. It was a rational decision on his part, to spare himself from humiliation and dishonor for the rest of his time alive. It was not uncommon, in fact, for Lords to commit Seppuku when in situations such as this. If a Lord, or anyone else in a high-rank position was put in a situation that would cause them any amount of dishonor, it was encouraged to commit the honorable suicide ritual to spare one's self from such dishonor.

And of course, Sesshomaru was in such a position. Very much so. He was a male bitch to begin with, and that alone was enough to earn him a few centuries' worth of humiliation, but the fact that he was pregnant and _unmated_ would surely stain his noble bloodline. Surely other nobles would debunk him of his rank for being such a careless whore. In a sense, birthing the bastard child that grew inside him would be even more shameful than the birthing of Inuyasha. After all, Touga had at least mated Izayoi.

Of course, there was always the option of cutting the embryo out, but that would be terribly risky business, especially with his body not yet being developed all the way. Until his woom formed correctly, the embryo would be attachted to and living off of the blood of one of his internal organs, most likely his heart. Attempting to open his chest and remove the embryo could very likely kill him anyway. And if he was going to die, he'd rather have it be on purpose, with sword in hand, rather than at the attempting removal of an unwanted pup.

So he made the decision rather quickly. He would kill himself in an honorable way, sparring the very last of the Inu Clan, namely his half-brother, any further embarrassment.

He just had to figure out how.

What with him being _the_ most powerful demon he knew, even suicide would be difficult. His own claws weren't sharp enough to do the trick, and his was obviously immune to his own poison. Tenseiga was a sword for healing, so it was out of the question, too. There was Toukijin, but having been the one to master all of it's attacks, he doubted that it would really kill him. If he were to commit Seppuku, he'd have to do it with some other means of weapon.

Or, perhaps there was the option of Kamikaze opposed to Seppuku. He could allow himself to die in battle, a warrior's death honoring his sendoff. He could attempt and go up against Naraku again, or there was... Inuyasha. Oh, how he hated the bastard. He'd defiled him, humiliated him. And despite the tiny voice in the back of Sesshomaru's mind that told him it was his own fault for going to Inuyasha in the first place, the yokai was determined to stick all the blame on the obnoxious hanyou.

After a bit of thinking, he decided. It would be perfect. He would fight Inuyasha, and die at the hands of Tessaiga. How bittersweet. The sword that he coveted from the very beginning would be his painful demise. And he wouldn't allow Inuyasha to walk away unscathed, either. In true Kamikaze style, he would make sure that his damning brother got killed along with himself.

Sure in his decisions, Sesshomaru equipped Toukijin, and almost turned to leave the clearing where he, his ward, and his retainer had been located. That was before he saw the little kappa lecturing the equally little girl about something silly - trees and flowers, perhaps. The lord seemed to think for a moment. Would he feel any remorse for leaving them behind? He had saved both of their lives, and they were forever loyal to him because of it. They loved him. Surely if he died, Jaken would weep for centuries, immobilized with grief. Surely if he died, Rin would be alone in the world, left to fend for herself. Could he really leave them behind?

"Rin. Jaken." He clipped, calling the attention of the two.

The starred at him, surprised for a moment, before running over to meet their Lord. Rin beamed and smiled cutely, Jaken bowed so low his head nearly touched the ground. They eagerly awaited what he had to say.

Well, out with it. "This Sesshomaru had decided to engage in a Kamikaze battle with that filthy half-breed." No use skirting around the topic at hand.

There was a sudden _thud_ with Jaken crashing to the forest floor in shock, and Rin's eyes grew to the size of saucers. Tear's welled up in the little girl's chocolate brown orbs. "But milord! Why? Then me and Jaken will be alone!" She was choking on her own words. "F-Forever!"

Sesshomaru had to hide the surprise the sprang inside of him. It was the first time that the little girl had questioned anything he'd ever done. She'd always gone along with what he said without protest, or anything of the sort, and now here she was, protesting! Then again, what with the demon lord deciding on his own death, one could only expect a reaction like that.

Jaken timidly whispered to his lord, "Is this about... that _thing_ , that we found out?"

But Sesshomaru didn't respond. Instead, he unsheathed Tenseiga and handed it to the little kappa. Jaken's eyes grew huge. "B-But milord-!" Without saying anything else, the stoic demon stood and began to walk away, abandoning his crying ward and awestruck retainer. Wordlessly, he jumped into flight, and began flying towards his imminent death.

* * *

"Sit, boy! Sit, sit, sit, sit boy!"

Poor, unfortunate Inuyasha. Being driven into the ground, so far into the muddy earth that you wonder if there's the smallest possibility that you just might suffocate under the pressure, was truly a terrible punishment. But hey, he deserved it. He had eaten Shippou's ration of ramen noodles and then rubbed it in the little fox's face. Not that this was unusual behavior. It was going the same way every 'lunch' went for the traveling party. Miroku molested Sango, Kagome Sat Inuyasha, Shippou went hungry for the rest of the day. Roles to play, and so forth.

"Damnation..." The hanyou mumbled under his breath as he rose from his rather grave-like hole in the earth. Every now and then he wondered if Kagome might just overdo it with the whole 'Sit' thing and end up burying poor Inuyasha alive. With a huff, Inuyasha stood up completely, attempting to work out the kinks in his twisted back.

"Heh... Serves you right!" Shippou snickered, pleased with Inuyasha's punishment. Where did he get off, taking the little boy's food all the time? One of these days Shippou would most certainly starve, and it'd be all that guy's fault.

"Hey! Shaddup!"

From his comfortable seat next to Sango, Miroku sighed. Typical. Inuyasha and Kagome began to get into another argument over Inuyasha needing more food than the fox what with him being a bigger guy after all, and no, Inuyasha, you can't have another ration, we only have so much... Eventually, it would end with another round of Sits, anyway.

Yes, life had been going normally for the group, for the most part. They encountered the occasional Naraku-n Incarnation, fought off seemingly worthless waste-of-space demons, ate, slept, attempted to find a lovely whore working in whatever small village they may find... Oh, wait, that last part was just Miroku. The monk chuckled dryly to himself. For about a month and a half now, his body had been completely inactive. And what a waste, for it was such a glorious body, too! But alas, Sango wasn't fond of whores...

"Dammit, Kagome! Can we just get goin' already?!" Inuyasha finally huffed out, exhausted. Getting Sat a rough total of twenty-eight times will do that to a person.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine. I guess we have been sitting here awhile. It's just so nice out!" She spoke with a smile on her face, taking in the clear blue sky, the warm golden sun, the smell of fire-cooked ramen. It really was a nice day.

Kagome packed up her things into that ungodly huge yellow back-pack of hers, and they were off. They continued their quest, marching forth with confidence in finding perhaps a Jewel Shard or two before the day was done. Onward, marching, our heroes went, without fear in their hearts! And of course, in Inuyasha's case the events of there days and four nights ago hadn't been on his mind for three days. After all, he had far more important things that he could be thinking about, like purifying the Shikon Jewel!

As they walked, Kagome spoke of this and that, none of which being of that much importance. Mostly, she was worrying about something that she spoke of often, some strange Empire called, "skool' and miscellaneous things that she'd have to do when she went back there. Honestly, if Inuyasha hadn't been on the opposite side of the well himself, he'd never believe her about this bizarre things she complained about.

"I'm going to have to go back in a few days." She said. "'Cause we have this big test coming up, and I need-"

" _Kagome._ "

The way Inuyasha spoke her name made her stop talking and walking, and stare at the hanyou strangely. He was sniffing the air, and if she didn't know better, she'd think he was tasting it as well. The look on his face was somewhat serious, and his eyes narrowed. "What is it, Inuyasha?" She asked _._

"This scent... it's Sesshomaru." He spoke. A chill ran down everyone's back as the feeling of death seemed to surround them, almost crushing them. Someone had the desire to die, and die fighting.

All was still as Inuyasha smelt the self-loathing and disgust. Sesshomaru was nearby, no doubt.

"Hello, little brother."

A chill ran down the hanyou's spine at that voice. He about faced to see none other than the slut himself, in a battle stance with Toukijin unsheathed and equipped, no less. His amber orbs glared at Inuyasha with a look of pure hatred, and Kagome's breath hitched in her throat. The air between these two... it was _thick_. Thick with anger, hatred, rage, and much more so than before.

As red subtly bled into his eyes, Sesshomaru spoke too quietly, too calmly. "I'm here to kill you, and myself."

And with a great swing of Toukijin and the anger of one thousand Hells, he charged.


End file.
